· "Anatomy Lesson"

Sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class:

"Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"

Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"

Mary stands up, blushing furiously.

"Sir, how dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!"

Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted.

He asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand.

"Yes, Sam?" says Mr. Sampson.

"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."

"Very good, Sam. Thank you."

Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you:
First, it's clear that you have NOT done your homework.
Second, you have a DIRTY mind.
And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."

·Subject: HEART FELT No Crying on this one

A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read "Puppies For Sale." Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner's sign. "How much are you going to sell the puppies for?" he asked.

The storeowner replied, "Anywhere from $30 to $50."

The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. "I have $2.37," he said. "Can I please look at them?"

The storeowner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, "What's wrong with that little dog?" The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. "That is the little puppy that I want to buy."

The storeowner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I'll just give him to you."

The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger, and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for."

The storeowner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies."

To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the storeowner and softly replied, "Well, I don't run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!"

· S L O W D A N C E:

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Do you run through each day on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

· LOVE

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But…
…if it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff,
eats your food,
uses your telephone,
takes your money,
and doesn't appear to realize
that you had set it free.....
…You either married it or gave birth to it.

· My Special List

I have a list of folks I know...
all written in a book,
And every now and then..
I go and take a look.

That is when I realize
these names... they are a part,
not of the book they're written in...
but taken from the heart.

For each Name stands for someone...
who has crossed my path sometime,
and in that meeting they have become...
the reason and the rhyme.

Although it sounds fantastic...
for me to make this claim,
I really am composed...
of each remembered name.

Although you're not aware...
of any special link,
just knowing you, has shaped my life...
more than you could think.

So please don't think my greeting...
as just a mere routine,
your name was not...
forgotten in between.

For when I send a greeting...
that is addressed to you,
it is because you're on the list...
of folks I'm indebted to.

So whether I have known you...
for many days or few,
in some ways you have a part...
in shaping things I do.

I am but a total...
of many folks I've met,
you are a friend I would prefer...
never to forget.

Thank you for being my friend!